The last time Chelsea binned off Frank Lampard, they won the Champions League four months later.
They brought him back, have immediately lost four games on the trot and won't be kings of Europe this year. Nor will they be contesting this competition next year.
Sometimes good things come to an end, but Chelsea and Lampard have past glories they can rely on and seem happy enough together again, so don't cry for them.
All those signings in January, and then this? All the brilliant leadership from Todd Boehly, and then this?
Real Madrid have more past glories than any club in the history of this competition, landing their 14th title last May, and they cleared the Chelsea hurdle after Carlo Ancelotti somehow outwitted Lampard.
Honestly, who saw that coming?
This was football as some sort of abstract performance art from the men in blue and their boss.
Stealth tactics, confuse the hell out of them. Play N'Golo Kante as a roving forward, why not? Have Conor Gallagher as the man nodding down crosses for the little Frenchman, why not? Madrid won't know what's hit 'em!
On seeing Chelsea's starting line-up, featuring world-beating holding midfielder Kante as the frontline attack dog, snooker star and Blues fan Neil Robertson tweeted: "I'm a little confused with this lineup. Hopefully a master plan!"
Sure Neil, let's call this a master plan. Just like playing a frame of snooker with the butt end of a cue would be considered a sound tactic, this was a master plan all right.
Eleven minutes in, this supreme strategy should have brought Chelsea a goal when Reece James' cross broke to an unmarked Kante.
From 12 yards the French World Cup winner surely would hit the opening goal and give Chelsea the dream start they were after.
Reader, he did not. A wild swing of the left boot sent the ball wide, but my word, did Madrid already look confused.
After playing 30 games in the Champions League without ever scoring, it was surely a matter of time before Kante broke that duck in this game. He was born to be the match winner.
James took a hapless touch on another Chelsea attack and Madrid's Vinicius Junior shepherded the ball out of play for a goal kick, being told to 'f*** off' by at least one Chelsea supporter for his efforts.
Madrid were surely on the ropes now with such vitriol adding to their woes.
Sure, Rodrygo whacked a shot against the outside of the Chelsea right post. But the home side were flying.
Kante had four touches in the first 20 minutes, the fewest of any player on the pitch. Madrid were being lulled into a false sense of security, their 2-0 first-leg lead suddenly so vulnerable.
Sure, Luka Modric’s sharp shot from a tight angle was then bundled behind by Chelsea goalkeeper Kepa Arrizabalaga.
Chelsea full-back James got in on the right and looked to play a quick ball to the striker attacking the near post, except that player unfortunately did not exist.
In the 38th minute, Kante was the man dashing down the right, and the makeshift winger’s cross would have been ideal if Chelsea had a striker in their ranks. As it was, it ran through the penalty area and out again before Madrid cleared their lines.
Kante then won a corner, and Kai Havertz flicked it on, Conor Gallagher headed it up, and nobody nodded it in.
In first-half stoppage time, Chelsea had the best chance of the half, when James' delicious low cross from the right inevitably missed the players in the middle and ran through to left-back Marc Cucurella.
The £55million defender was not necessarily acquired for his finishing, having only netted once for Brighton and Hove Albion, and he duly kept up his record of never having netted for Chelsea as Thibaut Courtois kept out his strike.
By half-time, Kante had pulled level with the goalkeepers on 17 touches each. Progress.
The chances kept coming after the break and Kante had another glorious opportunity when Gallagher nodded the ball down. Kante got to the ball and smacked his shot straight at defender Eder Militao.
Havertz trickled a low shot straight at Courtois, and Madrid were surely by now boggled by this master class in mind games. You could knock them down with a feather by this point.
Yet after almost an hour of banter-ball, Madrid scored when a short pass from Vinicius teed up Rodrygo to smash in from close range.
But wait! In the 67th minute, Lampard introduced three players with goals in their veins: Raheem Sterling, Mykhailo Mudryk and Joao Felix.
Hold them back until the game's lost, Frank, then unleash them, baby!
The Spanish giants withdrew Benzema after 70 minutes, sparing him from such advanced confusion tactics.
All Chelsea needed now was four goals.
Madrid scored next, Federico Valverde dancing past Thiago Silva and squaring for Rodrygo to net again. Two-nil on the night, four-nil on aggregate.
Just five goals needed now.
Frank, I don't think this is going quite to plan.
Young Reggae Boyz blanked 3-0 by Cuba to end Concacaf U-20 Champs pointless
Jamaica’s young Reggae Boyz ended their failed Concacaf Men's Under-20 Championship campaign without a goal or a point after a 0-3 loss to Cuba in their final Group A fixture at the Estadio Leon in Mexico on Friday.
With the victory, Cuba finished third in the group on four points and booked their spot in the quarterfinal round as one of the two best third-place teams. They join group winners United States, who finished with maximum nine points following their 1-0 win over runners-up Costa Rica (four points).
The Jamaicans were again undone by poor defending and a lack of offensive intent, which basically summed up their presence in the tournament, as they showed very little quality from the start.
In fact, they had a slim opportunity to bring their campaign to life but needed to beat Cuba to make it possible. Instead, it was the Spanish-speaking Caribbean team that marched on, as Michael Camejo dazzled Jamaica’s defence with nippy footwork before firing home in the 35th minute.
Cuba doubled their lead in the 42nd courtesy of David Perez, who capitalised on a defensive error.
Romain Blake got Jamaica’s lone attempt on target in the 47th, but was denied by Yurdy Hodelin.
Karel Pérez then wrapped up victory for Cuba when he converted from the penalty spot in the 86th.
Cuba will face the Group B winner, Honduras, in the quarterfinals.
Meanwhile, United States, through an all-important strike from Nikolas Tsakiris, his second of the tournament, saw off 10-man Costa Rica.
After Aiden Harangi’s early effort was denied by the crossbar, Tsakiris then found the game’s solitary goal in the 37th to ensure three-time champions United States remained unbeaten heading into the knockout stage.
Costa Rica lost Alberth Barahona to a straight red card in the 50th minute.
United States, the reigning champions, will square off against the best third-place team from either Group B or C in the quarterfinal.
Elsewhere, Canada and Honduras also booked their spots in the quarterfinal after contrasting 2-1 and 5-2 victories over El Salvador and Dominican Republic in their final Group B encounters at the Sergio Leon Chavez Stadium.
Both Canada and Honduras ended on seven points each, but the latter secured top spot by virtue of a superior goal difference.
Canada await the runner-up of Group C.
Man Utd boss Ten Hag certain Rashford will return to form
Erik ten Hag has "100% belief" that Marcus Rashford will return to form for Manchester United after the forward endured a disappointing 2023-24 campaign.
Rashford scored seven goals in 33 games last season as United finished eighth in the Premier League, having netted 17 times in 2022-23 when the Red Devils finished third.
The forward was subsequently left out of England's squad for Euro 2024, also being disciplined by his club for missing training to go to a nightclub in Belfast in January.
With former striker Ruud van Nistelrooy returning to Old Trafford in a coaching role, Ten Hag feels his presence can help Rashford get back to his best.
"The reason Ruud is here is clear, he can help the strikers, but he is much more than this. With Rashford, he can only prove himself," Ten Hag said.
"He is capable, he scored so many goals already at a relatively young age, he is capable of it. So I am confident, 100% belief, he can do the same as a few years ago."
Rashford was not the only England international to struggle for United last term, with Mason Mount enduring a disjointed first season at Old Trafford after arriving from Chelsea.
He made just 14 appearances in the Premier League, five of them starts, only scoring one goal and failing to provide an assist.
Ten Hag, however, feels it is unfair to judge him on last campaign and is certain he will fare better in 2024-25.
"You can't judge his season, because he was injured. Don't judge him. But when he is fit he will be a very good player for us and we can use him, he is versatile," Ten Hag said.
"You need certain types in the squad, team players, multifunctional players, he is one of the players who can play in several positions, he will help the team."
United continue their pre-season tour of the United States on Saturday as they face Arsenal, with matches against Real Betis and Liverpool also in the diary before they take on Manchester City in the Community Shield on August 10.
Guardiola 'would love to stay' at Man City beyond 2025
Pep Guardiola "would love to stay" at Manchester City beyond the expiration of his contract next year amid reports linking him with the England job.
Guardiola's contract with the Premier League champions expires in 2025, and some have tipped him to take the England job following Gareth Southgate's resignation.
In eight seasons with City to date, Guardiola has won 15 major trophies including six Premier League titles and the club's first Champions League in 2022-23.
Since Guardiola arrived ahead of the 2016-17 season, City have won more games (225), scored more goals (755) and earned more points (716) than any other side in the Premier League.
On Friday, he hinted his stay at the Etihad Stadium could extend beyond nine years, telling reporters: "When I'm leaving, I will say I'm leaving, but I didn't say that.
"We will see what happens. But I will not rule it out absolutely to extend my contract. I would love to stay.
"Nine years today at the same club is an eternity. So I want to be sure it's the right decision. Not just for me, for the club, for the players.
"Still they run like they ran for eight years, it doesn't matter the competition, it doesn't matter the tournament and this is what I have to see.
"I am sure eight more years I won't stay! It's good to refresh, for players and managers.
"At the same time we have had success and are still winning Premier Leagues, arriving in the last stages and playing competitions like the Champions League. This is my feeling right now."
Guardiola was speaking ahead of City facing Milan in the second match of their pre-season tour of the United States, to take place at Yankee Stadium on Saturday.
City are one of two English teams – alongside Chelsea – to have qualified for next year's 32-team Club World Cup, to be held in the USA.
Asked whether he would like to return stateside with City for that tournament, Guardiola said: "I would love to. Yeah, I would love to."
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