The suggestion Manchester United are enduring a trophy drought might feel frankly offensive to followers of Newcastle United, their EFL Cup final opponents.
When Newcastle last won a domestic cup, the 1955 FA Cup, they had twice as many major honours to their name (10) as Man United (five).
Since then, though, the side from Old Trafford have won 17 league titles, 15 domestic cups and five major European competitions.
In the same period, Newcastle have celebrated success only in the Inter-Cities Fairs Cup – a competition not recognised by UEFA.
Newcastle can end their 68-year wait for a domestic triumph on Sunday but must beat these most familiar of foes, for Man United have done more than most to extend that barren run on Tyneside.
Before this season, the Magpies' last semi-final was a 4-1 FA Cup defeat to Man United in 2005. Their last final was a 2-0 FA Cup defeat to the same opposition in 1999.
Those are counted among seven cup meetings between the sides since 1955, of which Man United have won six, including a 4-0 victory in the 1996 Community Shield.
That, like the 1999 FA Cup final, contributes to Newcastle's eight-game losing streak at Wembley – a record – having won on each of their first five trips to the national stadium.
Even in the league, Newcastle's best two campaigns since 1955 have seen them finish as runners-up to Man United. They have not finished above Man United since 1976-77.
This looked like being a season in which that sequence at least could be ended, but Newcastle have slipped below Man United and out of the top four since their semi-final win over Southampton.
In fact, only Aston Villa and Leeds United have collected fewer points than Newcastle in that time, while no Premier League team have earned as many as Man United.
Eddie Howe's men have understandably been distracted by their looming Wembley date, for which there could hardly be more fitting opponents.
"We're pleased the final's here. I didn't want the wait to be any longer," Howe said after Saturday's defeat to Liverpool, adding: "I wouldn't criticise the players in terms of focusing on the final ahead of the Premier League, but the talk of it has been there."
Yet even before this final, Man United have managed to hurt Newcastle again.
Nick Pope's red card in the Liverpool game saw him ruled out of Sunday's match, and Martin Dubravka cannot play either after spending the first half of the season out on loan at Man United of all teams.
Having played twice in the EFL Cup at Old Trafford, Dubravka is cup-tied and will receive a winners' medal only if his Newcastle team-mates lose. They will be relying instead on Loris Karius, making his debut for the club.
Even had Dubravka been available, Pope would be a big miss. He is so key to the way Newcastle play – with a high line but a slow defence – ironically due to his ability to do the thing that saw him sent off.
Pope leads the Premier League in keeper sweepings (24), mopping up passes in behind the back line effectively when not comically handling the ball outside his area.
No goalkeeper in the country then might have been better suited to combatting Man United's approach, which relies heavily on the speed of Marcus Rashford. They rank joint-first for fast breaks (22), joint-second for shots from fast breaks (16) and first for goals from fast breaks (seven), with Rashford scoring two of those.
Karius, now tasked with stopping Rashford, last appeared for an English club in another final, making two awful errors for Liverpool in their 2018 Champions League final defeat to Real Madrid after sustaining a concussion.
His potential redemption tale in this showpiece adds another layer of narrative that was scarcely needed.
"It would be a magnificent chance for him to rewrite the story of his career," said Howe, while Dubravka added: "It's like the script from a movie. So incredible."
It is not a plot twist anyone involved with Newcastle would have chosen – except perhaps for those following the club this season for a documentary series. "Now we want a happy ending," said Dubravka.
Bruno Guimaraes is at least back from suspension to help with that, although so too is Brazil team-mate Casemiro in the Man United camp.
The former Real Madrid midfielder, like Rashford, provides a very physical threat, but of comparable concern to Newcastle and to Karius might be the considerable mental hurdles they must clear to finally bring silverware back to St James' Park.
Proteas five wickets away from Sri Lanka series whitewash
South Africa closed in on a series whitewash of Sri Lanka on day four of the second Test in Gqeberha.
The Proteas require five wickets to complete a 2-0 win over the tourists, who need 143 runs to level the series at St George's Oval.
South Africa resumed at 191-3 on Sunday, Temba Bavuma (66) and Tristan Stubbs (47) led their charge as they continued at the crease.
David Bedingham added 35 as the hosts took their second-innings total to 317, with only Prabath Jayasuriya's five-wicket haul stopping them in their tracks.
That left Sri Lanka a target of 348, but South Africa took full advantage of the new balls, with Dimuth Karunaratne (1), Pathum Nissanka (18) and Dinesh Chandimal (29) all dismissed.
Angelo Matthews (32) and Kamindu Mendis (35) also went, though an unbroken 83-run stand between Dhananjaya de Silva and Kusal Mendis steadied the ship to give Sri Lanka hope of completing an almighty turnaround.
Data Debrief: Jayasuriya into double figures in just 18th Test
Bavuma led by example for South Africa once more, with his fourth successive contribution of 50 or more.
Jayasuriya's five-wicket haul to halt the Proteas' progress was his 10th in just 18 Tests, and his first outside Sri Lanka.
The tourists' hopes are not over yet, but they must create history to level the contest. Indeed, no team has previously completed a chase of more than 271 runs at St George's Oval.
Leicester City 2-2 Brighton: Late Foxes fightback thwarts Seagulls
Leicester City scored twice in the closing stages to come back from 2-0 down and draw 2-2 with Brighton in the Premier League.
The Seagulls appeared to be on course for a comfortable victory, with a stunning first-half strike from Tariq Lamptey having been followed up by Yankuba Minteh's effort 11 minutes from time.
Brighton had controlled matters from the off, and Minteh's goal will have been the least Fabian Hurzeler felt his side deserved.
Yet, Leicester talisman Jamie Vardy dragged Ruud van Nistelrooy's Foxes back into the contest as he poked in from close range to set up a grandstand finish.
And Vardy was involved in the 91st-minute equaliser, teeing up Bobby De Cordova-Reid to tap in and claim a draw in dramatic fashion.
Leicester are now 16th, with Brighton in seventh, having missed the chance to apply more pressure to their fellow European contenders.
Data Debrief: Seagulls' King Power Stadium winless streak continues
Brighton have now failed to win two of the last three Premier League games in which they have led by two or more goals, as many as in their previous 40.
The Seagulls are still seeking their first Premier League victory away at Leicester, the joint-most they have faced a side on the road without registering a single win (also seven against Manchester City).
Vardy inspired Leicester's turnaround. Aged 37 years and 332 days, the forward is the second-oldest player in Premier League history to both score and assist a goal in a single match, after Manchester United's Ryan Giggs against Fulham in December 2011 (38 years, 22 days).
Fulham 1-1 Arsenal: Saka's late strike chalked off as Gunners held
Arsenal had a late goal disallowed as their winning run in the Premier League came to an end with a 1-1 draw at Fulham.
Bukayo Saka seemed to have nodded home a winner in the 88th minute of Sunday’s contest at Craven Cottage.
However, the goal was overturned after a VAR review – Gabriel Martinelli having strayed offside before he delivered the cross – as Arsenal missed the chance to move within four points of leaders Liverpool, whose game against Everton was called off on Saturday.
VAR had earlier upheld Arsenal's equaliser, with William Saliba having turned in from Kai Havertz's header.
Fulham went ahead after 11 minutes, when Raul Jimenez drilled in to round off a swift counter-attack.
With Chelsea playing Tottenham later on Sunday, Arsenal climbed to second place on 29 points – six more than ninth-place Fulham.
Data Debrief: Gunners' struggles on the road continue
Now unbeaten in their last nine Premier League London derbies, Fulham are the only team to have avoided defeat against Arsenal in the competition since the start of last season.
The Gunners have now won just one of their last six league matches on the road, while failing to keep a clean sheet during that span.
Jimenez opened the scoring at Craven Cottage. All five of his goals this season have been the first of the game, with Dimitar Berbatov (nine in 2012-13) and Clint Dempsey (seven in 2011-12) the only Fulham players to net more openers in a single campaign.
The hosts' lead was cancelled out by Saliba's sixth Premier League goal from a set-piece since the start of last season, with team-mate Gabriel Magalhaes (10) the only defender to score more such goals during that span.
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